The new foods have been announced and I have opinions!

Welcome to one of the happiest days of the Fair-lover’s year - the official new foods list has been released! 33 new items grace the list this year – here’s the easier-to-navigate PDF version – and I’m here to provide a first-pass hot take. Plus they announced 6 new food vendors, and I’ve got thoughts on them as well.

I’ve ranked and tiered each new item into the list below along with my commentary. Check out the web site or PDF for the full item descriptions.

Fran’s New Food Rankings

Can’t Miss

Deep Fried Halloumi Cheese - Basically an elevated cheese curd, plus sweet chili dipping sauce? Don’t think too hard, this one’s easy.
Turkey Kristo - Say it with me: Farmers. Union. NEVER. Disappoints! Turkey and apple butter, with some spicy mustard to cut through? Yes please!
Strawberry Lemonade Donut - They had me at lemon buttercream frosting, but I’m also digging the strawberry lemonade crunch topping, and as a gummy candy fan, the lemon gummy is a nice bonus. Of course, if the lines at Fluffy’s are anything like last year I’m not getting anywhere near this item, because I don’t care how good it is, no food item is worth waiting that long when you have a sea of other amazing choices right there.
Grilled Purple Sticky Rice - Definitely has the fair novelty factor with the grilled, crunchy purple rice. I discovered crunchy chili sauces this year so I’m definitely excited to try the Krunchy Chili Aioli as well. This one is right on the edge of Has Potential and Can’t Miss, but I’m giving it the bump because we trust Union Hmong Kitchen.
Swedish Ice Cream Sundae - The combo of vanilla ice cream and ginger cookie is an instant winner, and the lingonberry jam should make for a great sundae topping. I also have never been in the Salem Dining Hall so I’m excited for this one!
Swedish ‘Sota Sliders - The two remaining church dining halls both make the Can’t Miss list! Hamline always dreams up winning new foods, and this should continue their reputation. The wild rice meatball is a classic base, and the relish and brioche combo should put this over the top. I have to admit I am a little nervous that this will underwhelm, but their track record gets them the benefit of the doubt for now.

Has Potential

Chile Mango Whip - Lots of flavors you don’t see much of at the Fair here - mango, tamarind, chamoy (pickled fruit sauce), and Tajin (lime chili spice mix). Paired with the non-dairy Dole Whip and I think you have a winner on a hot day.
Ba’bacon Sour Cream & Onion - There’s a LOT going on here, but if we deconstruct it, you get an onion-y hummus bowl with bacon, tots and cream. That should all work! Add in the DIVINE Baba’s pita puffs and I’m feeling pretty confident about this one.
Fried Bee-Nana Pie - I’m not completely convinced that honey and Biscoff cookie butter need to be together, but Biscoff cookie butter is ridiculously good straight out of the jar, so warm it up in a fried pocket with banana? Sign me up.
Lady’s Slipper Marble Sundae - I even surprised myself when I read this and liked it. Strawberry and Lemon combos are having a moment this year, it seems, and the ladyfinger cookies are a nice deviation from the typical sundae. Worth a try.
Buffalo Cheese Curd & Chicken Tacos - I’m not a huge buffalo chicken guy but I can see how these might work. This is a pretty straightforward offering, so the downside risk seems minimal here, at the very least.
Patata Frita Foccaciawich - To be honest, kettle chip flavored ice cream, on its own, would have never made this tier. But turn it into a fancy sandwich with honey butter and actual chips… you’ve got my attention. Will it work? No idea. Will I try it? Definitely.
Nixtamal & Wild Rice Bowl with Wóžapi & Bison Meatballs or Sweet Potato Dumplings - If nothing else, it wins on name length. Just the fact that Indigenous Food Lab is at the Fair is awesome. Bison at the Fair could be a hit - it’s different, but not TOO out there, and the sweet potato dumpling option is a great vegetarian play. I’m excited to try the nixtamal corn base and the berry-maple-spice flavoring. The optional cricket and seed mix topping? Points for going bold - smart to make it optional! Will I try it? TBD.
Afro Poppers - I wasn’t that excited about these until I got to the mango chutney drizzle. That’s intriguing enough to make me want to try them, but I wouldn’t be all that surprised if these miss.

Feels Like a Long Shot

3 Piggy Pals-on-a-Stick - I’m almost always disappointed by bacon-wrapped anything. Most bacon-wrapped things didn’t need the bacon, and the bacon is usually soggy and unappealing. Then you have cream cheese, BBQ sauce, and jalapeno all fighting for attention. Sausage Suster & Me has good Fair cred, but I expect this to be a miss.
Blazing Greek Bites - Isn’t this basically just spicy falafel? Sounds kinda dry (like falafel, which is why you drench it in tzatziki and/or tahini).
Cookie Butter Crunch Mini Donuts - Vanilla flavored mini donuts do not appeal to me for a weird reason - it’s too close to the actual sweet, malty flavor of regular mini donuts. And wow are they really hitting us over the head with the cookie components here. While mini donuts are delicious, and cookies are delicious, they kinda scratch the same itch, and putting them together might be too much of a good thing.
Mocha Madness Shave Ice - I want to like this because I’m intrigued by a caramel macchiato cold foam center, but I have a feeling that “caffiene-free coffee flavoring” is going to miss the mark.
Savory Éclairs in Two Varieties - I would love if the Banh Mi version ends up hitting, but I think I’ll miss the french bread that makes Banh Mi so amazing. And please, PLEASE, stop trying to make seafood happen at the Fair!!
Strawberries and Cream Waffle Stick - I was digging this until I read that the filling was cookie dough. I never got into the cookie dough trend and it just sounds a bit heavy for the Fair.
Sweet Corn Cola Float - The sweet corn ice cream in this dish has been around a while and it’s not that exciting. I’m not sure frozen caramel makes this dish better either. And popping candy?
Wrangler Waffle Burger - I don’t trust Nordic Waffle to make top-notch burgers (it’s not Nordic Burger now is it?) Also, when I think what makes an amazing burger bun, I don’t think waffle. I’ll be surprised if this works.
Deep Fried Ranch Dressing - Ok, points for creativity. But ranch dressing is the PERFECT dip for fried things. Does it work as the fried thing? I’m skeptical, and I don’t think hot honey dipping sauce is the answer.
Ham and Pickle Roll Up on a Potato Skin - I’ve had too many disappointing potato skins in my life - they’re hard to get right and I certainly don’t think the Fair is a likely place to do so. I also don’t need sour cream AND cream cheese.
Shroomy “Calamari” - Deep-fried oyster mushrooms could be good, but a spicy dipping sauce might fight with the mushroom-y umami that would make such a thing yummy. Also, I gotta be honest, they’re also losing points for their labeling of an oyster mushroom “calamari”. Gettin’ your sea creatures mixed up there…just another reason to stop trying to make seafood happen at the Fair - even fake seafood!

Run Away!

Dill Pickle Tots - Missed the dill craze by a couple of years here. Have you ever said to yourself “I wish I had a jar of pickle juice to dip these tots in…”? Me neither.
Walking Shepherd’s Pie - Shepherd’s Pie is basically a cheap, filling, somewhat bland comfort food staple for the masses. I like shepherd’s pie alright, but it doesn’t have any Fair novelty for me whatsoever. Plus, O’Gara’s is doing this, so I’m not even sure it’s going to be made on site or by hand at all. Last year I finally tried their reuben bites and was horribly disappointed - they served up institutional grade reuben bites and a packet of Kraft thousand island dressing and managed to land a dishonorable mention in my awards. In all my years going to the Fair, O’Gara’s has never produced a memorable food item for me, and I don’t expect that to change this year.
Marco’s Garden - Oh no Jammie Sammies, I’m not letting you disappoint me AGAIN. Their stuff always sounds great, and always falls short. Still remember throwing away their sandwich last year, along with the weak coffee drink. Life’s too short.
PB Bacon Cakes - Thick-cut bacon dipped in pancake batter, I like where this is going! Oops, hard turn, why are we also including PB&J here? And then a banana chip because why, Elvis? Nope.
Raging Ball - The mochi craze reaches the Fair. Mochi are fun. Mochi are delicious. I’ve never, ever thought “I wish they made a mochi stuffed with cheeseburger (vegan or otherwise). And bacon-flavored powdered sugar? Huh?
Cotton Candy Iced Tea - This is SCREAMING “Made for Instagram, not to taste good.” Edible glitter? Really? It’s a shame too, because the Fair needs good iced tea and this is probably the weakest item on this new vendor’s menu, so hopefully people see past the gimmick and try their traditional iced teas.
Crab Boil Wings - If this item succeeds, it’ll be despite the name. When your name invokes both a disease AND a skin condition you’re fighting one heck of an uphill battle already. From there, why are the wings grilled and fried? Doing that en masse at a fair sounds like a great way to serve really dry chicken wings. And then you try to treat hot wings like seafood? This hot mess is trying to solve a problem that doesn’t exist.

New Food Vendor Excitement Levels

Bonus content! Here are my thoughts on the six new vendors.

Loon Lake Iced Tea - As I said above, it’s a shame they’re leading with their Instagram abomination. There’s a lack of great iced tea at the Fair, and I’m hoping something like their peach iced tea might fill the void.
El Burrito Mercado - I HOPE this works. I love the idea of Mexican street food at the Fair, but the taquito is risky - I often find them unsatisfying and sometimes also greasy. Similarly, esquites could work, but I don’t love its cousin elote. If they go easy on the sour cream and let the corn shine, it could be amazing. If they go too heavy on the sour cream, it could be really unappealing. Agua de Sandia Loca should be a great Fair drink.
Chan’s Eatery - Well, at least the business plan is transparent: “Let’s do ALL the Asian food trends!” I’m excited for boba tea at the Fair, that could be good. Mochi are always fun (when they’re not cheeseburger flavored). And Korean corn dogs, while not likely to get my attention when there are traditional corn dog quotas to meet, are an obvious Fair fit.
Paella Depot - This one’s tough because I associate paella with seafood (I know it doesn’t have to include seafood, but that’s what we encounter most often) and that starts to get into my seafood-at-the-Fair issues, but the seafood is optional here and a chicken & chorizo paella (with an optional fried egg) should be fantastic. Plus six aguas frescas are a welcome addition to the Fair.
Midtown Global Market’s Indigenous Food Lab - Is the Fair ready for bison and crickets? We’ll see!
Kosharina Egyptian Cuisine - I’m not sure we’ve had Egyptian fare at the Fair (see what I did there?!?) so that’s interesting. But here’s the start of the description of the Koshari bowls they serve…. rice, pasta, chickpeas, lentils, HOLY CARBOHYDRATES BATMAN! I think that would put me to sleep. Curious to see if this vendor hits.

There you have it folks. 33 hot takes for 33 new foods and some thoughts on the new vendors. Do you agree? Which of my takes made you angry? Comment below! What do you think has the best chance to take home some hardware in the Fran Fair Awards this year?

RC’S BBQ Maui-Sota Sticky Ribs, 2023’s Best Main Entree winner in the Fran Fair Awards

One thing we can all agree on - New Foods List launch day is one of the most exciting days in the lead-up to the Fair, and it’s been fun to get back in the Fair mindset after a long time away!

New Foods Announced - Here are my Hot Takes!